Have you ever noticed how when you have a problem and can’t for the life of you work out what to do, that there is always one thing within your arsenal of possible solutions that you feel you just couldn’t possibly do?
Have you ever noticed how sometimes when people are in crisis they seem to resist the one thing they absolutely should do? You watch them go over and over their situation and touch upon, what seems to you, the most obvious solution, only to see them state it as the one thing that they couldn’t do.
I’ll give you some examples from my own life. A couple of years ago when I was looking at the relationships in my life and working on releasing myself from those that weren’t serving me, there was one very close and long-standing relationship that I swore to myself I wouldn’t let go of despite how painful it had at times been. It took me a while to get there but eventually I realised that of all my relationships it was actually this one that I absolutely had to let go of and regardless of how scary it was to do so, I did let go and it was liberating.
Then there is what I’m doing right now. Lately I have been really struggling with my writing, the inspiration is there but the ability to actually sit down and articulate my thoughts hasn’t been. I couldn’t for the life of me work out what to do. I tried journaling more, I tried free writing and I tried taking a break from writing to reset, but nothing seemed to be working. Then the thought of writing a post everyday for 30 days popped into my head and the idea of it filled me with horror. How could I even contemplate committing to writing a blog post everyday for a month when I hadn’t even been able to write a post once a week? That’s when I realised that I’d hit upon the perfect solution, the one thing that I absolutely must do.
It doesn’t always have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as telling yourself that you couldn’t possibly grow a beard because people might think it 
will look stupid or it could be as big as walking away from a relationship when all your recent thinking has been focused on how to stay and make it work. Whatever it is, identify what you couldn’t possibly do and then seriously think about doing that exact thing. Trust me, if you try it I honestly believe that you will be surprised by the results.
The reason we resist the one thing that we should do is usually because it feels like the hardest of all the possible solutions. The solution that requires the greatest amount of courage or the one that will mean the most amount of change but that my friends, is precisely why it is the one thing that you absolutely should do. When we stand up to our fears and embrace change, life takes on a whole new quality. We feel more alive than we could have ever imagined and the rewards that we find far outweigh the worries, fears and concerns we had about taking the leap.
So, what dilemmas are you facing in your life right now? Is there a solution that keeps popping into your head that you’ve been pushing away because it feels like the one thing you couldn’t do? Maybe it’s time to rethink your ‘couldn’t possibly’ and just go for it. Let me know if you have ever done the one thing you had been telling yourself you couldn’t do, I’d love to hear how that went for you. If you liked this post please do share by hitting one of the buttons below.
Hi there, I'm Caroline. Welcome to Life is Limitless, my blog about personal development with a focus on facing fears and living a life without limits. Check out my about page to find out more and pop your email in the box below to subscribe for regular updates.
Oh man it’s so true! And you get that sinking feeling in your stomach when you think of it because you know that this is actually the thing you should do, but it horrifies you, but you know that you know so you can’t escape it and then if you don’t do it in the end you carry it like a splinter that digs a little deeper every time you think of it.. Great advice!
Steph recently posted..The Naked One
Oh Steph, the sinking feeling in the stomach, that’s exactly it. I think that’s what they call our gut feeling, I think I’m learning to trust mine, splinters after all are pretty painful
Just what I need to hear right now. Most of the time it is so true. Yet, we constatnly try to find an easier way
Staren recently posted..Banshee
Hi Staren, it’s so true that we constantly try and find an easier way, which ironically tends to cause more difficulties in the long run, *sigh* when will we learn?
My ‘couldn’t possibly do’ is huge right now which equals to the big problems I am currently experiencing in life but the temptation to take that leap to the ‘couldn’t is growing daily!
Toni recently posted..Letter to my passport
Hi Tony, the ‘couldn’t possiblys’ do tend to be pretty massive. Good luck with whatever yours is.
Scary!
Really. So scary! I know exactly what you mean but isn’t it the biggest risk ever Caroline? So many times I know what I shouldn’t do – it’s more of what I don’t want to do because of something or the other but taking that big leap of faith is probably exactly what I need to be doing in my life. I was going to make a slight career change in my life so left a previous job to go in a different direction but now I’ve started thinking of not doing that and to do something in my my previous field for another year or two. That’s clearly trying to avoid what I should be doing but doing what I’m afraid of has a lot of risk.
Of course deep down I know it’s the thing I should be doing but still – freaking scary!!
Vishnu recently posted..5 ways to live life shaken, not stirred. (Part 2)
Haha, it totally is scary but that’s how I like it Vishnu! I also think it’s okay if we take our time a little before making the leap that we need to, just as long as we do actually do it one day. Otherwise we spend our lives with that ‘not so quiet’ nagging voice at the back of our minds telling us to do what we already know deep down that we need to
This is an easy (thus, difficult) one … With respect to alcohol consumption, the one thing that I “keep coming back to” is quitting altogether.
I keep trying to rationalize moderation as a solution – and maybe someday it will be – but I think I have to wrest myself of alcohol all together before I can ever really be in control again.
I think the universe is talking to me through you today, Caroline. Thanks for the post.
Matthew, I remember doing the exact same thing with regards to rationalising moderation, and I too haven’t given up on the idea that i may one day drink again in the future but I’ve definitely gained the upper hand by quitting all together. Now if I drink, it will be a choice rather than something I do just because everyone does. If you haven’t read it already you might be interested in the post I wrote on this very subject: http://lifeislimitless.com/my-year-without-alcohol-an-honest-account/
This is fucking great. Firstly though, without sounding rude – you would look stupid with a beard. I’m not saying that to discourage you, and it is only my personal opinion, but I would think long and hard before going down that road.
Secondly, I’ve been in this situation more than a handful of times over the past couple of years. Even though I knew the solutions to what I was dealing many months in advance, it was only when “shit got real” as they may or may not say in the hood that I actually implemented these solutions. It reminds me of the idea that shit needs to get really bad before you make a big important change in your life – as often if everything is comfortable – neither good nor bad – you will simply keep going along how you’ve always been going.
Actually, that’s given me an idea for a new post. I’m looking forward to reading everything you come up with this week! And I’ll send you the post when I’ve written it up.
Hope you’re bloody fantastic
Benjamin recently posted..Stacking Habits: How to Create New Habits that Stick
Ben yet again your comment has made me laugh out loud. Although I’m a bit hurt, I think my facial hair is quite becoming actually! “shit needs to get really bad before you make a big important change in your life – as often if everything is comfortable – neither good nor bad – you will simply keep going along how you’ve always been going.” These are very wise words, I hope to read a post from you on this subject soon
Oh and I am bloody fantastic thanks, hope you are too.