♪♬ ‘Tis the season to set goals, tra lala la la, lala la la ♪♫ 

Not feeling it? Yes I have to admit, I’ve not been feeling it either, which is super strange because setting goals is usually one of my most favourite things to do. However, with so much going in my life right now, including a 10 month old baby with more energy than a hyperactive, Labrador puppy, a business, almost just as old (and unpredictable) as he is, plus an impending house move (3 weeks and we’re out of here baby!) and sitting down to write out a list of SMART goals, feels, well, not enticing in the slightest.

That said, it’s impossible for me not to contemplate how I want my 2018 to go and so some gentle questions have been unfolding for me, which I thought I’d share. More than what I want to do in 2018, I’ve been thinking about how I want to be and how I want to feel and so the questions I’ve been mulling over lean more towards becoming rather than achieving. I’ve been finding it rather useful and enjoyable to gently contemplate the following questions as I go about my day (in the shower, while doing the shopping, in conversation with my love etc). Until now, I haven’t even written any of this down, because I’ve felt content enough to just contemplate and feel into these.

How do I want to feel in 2018? 

Who do I want to become in 2018? 

How do I want to show up in 2018? 

What do I want less of in 2018? 

What do I want more of in 2018? 

What are my intentions for 2018? 

I’ve also realised that since late 2014 my top focus has been on coaching and supporting others in their personal growth and as last year drew to a close and this year began, I’ve felt a real pull to draw some (not all) of my focus back to myself and my own personal growth. I’ve allowed a couple of important practices (like meditation, exercise and my morning pages) to slip in my life lately, for good reason (balancing a baby and business!) but, I’m now feeling the consequences of not taking care of my own needs first, which I have to say can feel particularly hard when you have a baby.

Eli DeFaria

That said, I know that if I’m to continue to serve my people (that’s you!) and be a fully present Mama and Wife, I have to re-commit to my own self-care and spiritual practices first and giving myself permission to not create an ambitious list of goals for 2018 feels like a huge part of that. I’d also like to share with you some examples of what I’ve come up with as my answers to these questions.

How do I want to feel in 2018? Grateful. Last year I gave myself permission to dream big and to be wildly ambitious, which was really wonderful (and I have an inspiring and bold 3-year vision as a result), but what it has meant is that I’ve let my practice of gratitude slip a little. So, focused on the future have I been, that, at times, I’ve forgotten to stop and feel grateful for what I have right now, in this present moment.

Who do I want to become in 2018? More kind, open and sociable. Connection is one of my top five personal values but as a hardcore introvert, it can be all too easy for me to settle into the comfort of my cosy home and loving family and pull up the drawbridge and shut myself off from the outside world. I would like to shift this in 2018 and moving to a new town feels like the perfect opportunity to do this. I know that making new friends and connections will undoubtedly support me.

How do I want to show up in 2018? Less busy and more present to what is around me. I’m really craving the stillness that comes from present moment awareness at the moment and know that I’ve used a lack of time as a reason to let my meditation habit slip. I know in my heart that everything slows down when I take time each day to sit in stillness and ultimately this has the unexpected benefit of allowing me to create more with greater ease than if I fill my day with to do lists, busyness and productivity.

What do I want less of in 2018? Less complaining (on my part) and more appreciation of what is. I love my life but I’ve noticed that lately I’ve slipped into a habit of complaining about the things that don’t feel perfect. I have no doubt that this comes from feeling especially tired following the birth of my boy (and the countless sleepless nights this has brought) but still, I know that it doesn’t serve me or those around me to continue this in 2018.

What do I want more of in 2018? Family time and me time. Balancing baby and business has been a challenge in 2017 and starting next month, we’ll be getting childcare for Oscar, which will initially feel like less time with my boy (undoubtedly heart-wrenching), but will ultimately give me more time to get what needs to get done in my business meaning that the time I do spend with my boys will be quality time during which I can give my undivided attention. And, of course this will allow me to have more time for me, to meditate, read, journal, exercise and all that good stuff, which has fallen by the wayside lately.

What are my intentions for 2018? To THRIVE. My word for 2018 is thrive and I my intention is to thrive personally and professionally, physically and emotionally, individually and collectively.

So, how about you? Do these questions support you? I’d love to hear your answers, so please do take a moment to share in the comments below and if there are people in your life who could benefit from these questions, please do share this post with them.